Update....

I was doing so well with blogging earlier in the year, I don't know what happened. I've been wanting so badly to write lately, so here I am! At last. Christmas is just 2 weeks away now. Hard to believe the year is almost over already. The time is just flying by...I have no idea how it came to be December so fast! It's funny how my last post was about the day we all went to Presq'ile, because oddly enough, that's the day life changed. Shane, Chloe, Alexis and I, were inseparable until then. Best Friends Forever. But that day, Shane met Shannon, Maryanne's friend, who brought Julian, her son, on our big adventure to the board walk, and only a few short weeks after that, they were dating and me and Shane barely hung out after that. Needless to say, things were definitely not the same since then, and other than me babysitting Chloe sometimes now, me and Shane barely talk anymore. It's sad, really. But that's life, and life goes on. And, in the end, Shannon won and took mine and Alexis' best friend's right from underneath us.

It's hard when kids are involved. When to me, it's not just about me and Shane losing our best friend status in an instant, it's about Alexis and Chloe needing to be together and being the besties they were the second they met each other. I tried all summer really hard, to make sure that the girls still always saw each other. Invited us places, to make sure the girls always got to see each other, but as time passed, it just got harder. Shannon got crazier, more mad, complained to Maryanne more about me and Alexis going places with them, when it was supposed to be a "family" thing for them to do together. In time, I got used to it, knowing that things would never be the same again, and I understood it a little, but poor Alexis. If it weren't for me babysitting Chloe, my girl would have lost her best friend completely by now. Sad. Because I love that Alexis loves her best friend. I love how she loves being around someone as much as she loves being with Chloe. But at the same time, I know Alexis loved Shane. He is so good to her.

I guess it just sucks looking back at everything, because Shane was one of the only friends I really hung out with on a daily basis. I miss his friendship. But on top of that, I miss all my other friendships too lately. This summer, my friend Alisha, who was there in the room while I gave birth, decided I sucked at being a friend and gave up on me. Some friendships pick up after months of not talking, but apparently not all of them. It sucks knowing I lost her. It also sucks seeing all your friends moving on with their lives, getting married, buying houses, having more children and having less time to even talk with you as much as before. But they are just living their normal busy lives, it's not like it's their fault, and I completely understand that! :) It just sucks sometimes, when you feel like the only person who really is there is my 3 year old daughter, who can't even understand the happiness in my successes....and believe me, they come few and far between. On that note, I recently won my first photo contest! I entered 2 pictures into the Quinte West Photo Contest this year. It was the first contest I'd ever entered, and when I saw all the other pictures, I thought for sure there was no way I would win. But, who knew? Someone thinks I'm good enough for first place! It definitely boosted my confidence in photography, and helped me believe in myself a little more, which I know I desperately needed. This is my winning picture! :)

As my prize, I got $300 worth of coupons to spend in Quinte West, which sounds awesome, but there was only certain places I could spend my money. It's not like I could have went Christmas shopping for Alexis, unless I wanted to get new tires for a car or get 10% off a mortgage. But lucky for me, there was a great place to buy something I've always wanted. A new guitar!

So off I went to the music store, and bought my first damn guitar! It's not an amazing guitar or anything, but it's still mine, and that counts for something! And on top of that, I signed Alexis up for 4 free piano classes in January! It's awesome that they are free, because I wanted to put her into piano but don't want to waste my money if she isn't going to enjoy it. So now, we have a free trial to see if she's into it! If she is, I think there might be piano lessons in her future! My girl has always been into music! I remember when she had just turned 2, she was playing her little keyboard and singing a song she made up that sang "Gramma's house! Gramma's house!" It was so adorable! She loves singing, playing her mini grand piano, playing guitars and the drums! So hopefully she will keep on loving it! I'm so excited that Christmas is almost here! I love Christmas with Alexis! I wish I could buy her the world this year, but financially, it's just not happening. Last year was amazing, simply because I got pack pay on baby bonus because of claiming single, and Santa went freakishly insane on the gift giving with her. But this year, $3000 didn't just fall into my lap, so no insane amount of presents this time. But I know she will love when I have bought her, and I am going shopping again in a few days while she is at Matt's. I decided this year, since I knew I wouldn't be able to buy that much, that I would start teaching her that Christmas is about giving, and so we made a list together, of all the people she wanted to make a present for, and the list was huge! 20 people are getting picture frames painted by Alexis and 1 or 2 pictures of her and the other person together (depending what I had in stock)! Let me tell you, they turned out beautifully! And she thinks that everyone is going to love them! (as she always says!) Here are a few of her presents! (the one of just her is for Matt, as I don't have any pcitures this year of them together...)

She even helped me wrap them, and she was so proud of herself!

From September to December, Alexis had gymnastics classes once a week with Braelyn! They are over now, unfortunately, but I'm thinking I might put her back in them again, if Maryanne wants to put Alyssa in it, and that way we will be able to get there. Alexis loved her gymnastics class! At first it was tough. She didn't want to sit in the circle and do the warmups or listen to the teachers, but by the end of it, she was the first one sitting on the black circle, waiting to do warmups and standing in line, waiting for her turn on the balance beam and the bar! I am so proud of her and how good she got at everything she learned! She was so good at summer saults that she was jumping into them, and even one of the teachers said she had never seen a 3 year old do that before! Proud Mommy moment! :)

I really wanted to put her into ballet this year, but the dance school in Belleville doesn't take kids till they are 4. Maryanne and I are going to put Alexis and Alyssa in Ballet next September when they start school. Alexis loves dancing, especially Ballet, and I wish they would have taken 3 year olds, but I guess we can wait for it. I want Alexis to experience and learn everything that she possibly can. I want to be able to give her everything that she could possibly dream of. I want her to feel like she has an amazing life, and that no matter what, I tried my best to do what I can for her. When I was young, I took ballet classes from 4-12. It was the only thing I was allowed to be in though. There was no brownies or girl guides or soccer. Oh, I had singing lessons for a little while. I want Alexis to be in everything and find her own groove. I know I don't make a lot of money, but there will always be a way for me to make sure that she is in Brownies and Dance Class and Piano lessons or gymnastics. I will figure it all out, because somehow, I always do when it comes to her! Well, 2am...better go to bed...

Much Love and Hugs xoxo