Ya gotta do what ya gotta do

So, I came home today from work, to my girl tank-topped and pantless! Rockin' the diaper! She was SO excited to see me, and it was the greatest feeling ever seeing her pretty much jumping out of Emily's arms and into mine!
I'm sure she had a fun-filled day with Emily though! She took Alexis to the sidewalk sale that's downtown this week. She got her a pink balloon animal that was a cat and a green balloon that was attached to her stroller! What a good babysitter! I thought it was cute!

Although it was my 2nd day of work, it was Alexis' first full day with Emily, since yesterday Emily was sick and only picked her up at 2pm from my Mom's house. I felt better about going to work yesterday than I thought I would, just because I knew she was with my Dad most of the day, and my Dad is her favorite person in the entire world (other than me, of course!!)


I can't tell you how much it sucks when someone else watches your baby. Schedules get thrown off, she doesn't eat nearly as much, or sleep, and everything just seems to get out of wack. It sucks to come home from a long ass day at work, to a cranky baby. I don't know how mom's do this. And to make matters worse, coming home and realizing you only have 2 and a half hours to spend time with your little love before she goes to bed. It definitely isn't the greatest thing I've ever had to deal with, but like I always say, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, and this is something that I gotta do. I just need to realize I am doing it for her, and to shut myself up and stop bitching about it. Ahh, Bleh.

We didn't get to do much in our 2 hours before bath time. But she had some fun, climbing into the windowsill in her bedroom from the boys bed, and back onto the bed, over and over and over again, as if someone was timing her on how fast she could do it!

And then decided to just bounce! Her way of jumping on the bed, is on her knees...and well, they don't exactly get in the air, but I still call it jumping...and she just has a grand ol' time!


I already have 2 days off of work, for the weekend! I am more happy about this than I think anyone could imagine!! 2 normal days with my babe, just me and her!!
Not sure what's in store for us yet, but I'm sure something fun is waiting for us!!

twas the the night before....work...

It was the very last day of life as I know it, and things are all going to change again. Ugh. Work. 9 months ago, if you were to ask me if I was going back to work again, the answer would have been No. I was told that I could be a stay at home Mom. But, things change and people change their minds, and reality sinks in, and you realize there's just no way that you can't live your life like you imagined. So, work it is, and it all starts tomorrow. Yuck.

My babysitter is my cousin, Emily. I used to babysit her and her sister when they were young and I was 15. Emily is a really great girl, and I trust her. Although, Alexis and Emily have only had 2 play dates. One, where we were at my house, and I was there, and two, Emily took her to the park for a half an hour, without me. The 2nd date went well, without me..but she was at the park, and the park is her favorite place! She could be pushed on the swing by a drunk homeless man, and she would probably not care...well, maybe she would...who knows?!

I am extremely worried though, that once I leave the house and she notices I'm not there, that she will cry for me. God knows, she's done it before with her Daddy and apparently cried for 4 hours till I got home. Yep. But lets hope that Emily has a little more patience than her daddy does. I'm sure it'll all be fine...but I can't help but wish that I never had to worry, that I never had to leave her and go back to work. That it could always always always just be Alexis and I, no matter what!
As it is, I am her Mommy. She is a Mommy's Girl through and through and I love love love that she is!

Bleh. Work. Sucks. Ass.

Today I was able to get away from all this house work and crap that I had to finish up before I go off to war and leave my baby, and we went to the park with Maryanne and Shannon and their babies, Alyssa and Julien. I was happy that we got out and felt normal again. As much as I know that Alexis loves the park more than anything, I don't take her there often. I suppose it's not as much fun without people to go with, and me hanging out with friends happens few and far between. But Alexis loved it! She was pretty cranky because the dog woke her up early from her nap, but as soon as she got in that swing, my little crank pot was gone, and my happy little love was back!





Don't those little toesies just scream happiness? Oh my, how I love tiny toes!

One thing that I love most about Trenton, is the airplanes flying over my house all day every day. When I lived in Ottawa, it's something I missed a lot. What a weird thing to miss, I know. Alexis also loves the airplanes. Every time they fly over, she can hear them and she always looks at the window, and when we're outside and sees one, she is so excited. Feet dancing and everything! Today the F18's were doing some runs. Alexis had no idea what to think at first when she saw them. Because ya know, they are so much faster and louder than a regular plane. But after seeing them like 80 times fly by, her little excited feeties were going and she was all in her glory. Maybe one day she'll be a pilot?

Tomorrow is a big day...I'm sure just missing Alexis and wondering what she's doing all day will be exhausting all in itself, I can't even imagine how working is actually going to be like. Tiring, more than likely. Lame.
Nite nite.
xoxo


Those eyes are just....love love love !!!!

One of Those Days

I just made my first new header for my blog! How do you like it?! I have a feeling that I will change it over and over and over again. Just because I can! :P

Today was one of those days you wish were over half-way through the day. Alexis slept like she was one month old last night. Up every 2 hours. Eek. It was horrible. And to make matters worse, when she has a bad night of sleep, she is just cranky. I call her my little crank pot when she's like this. Needless to say, naptime came earlier than usual.

The list goes on with things that went wrong. A Crappy thing that came for me in the mail that will now cost me 50 bucks due to a Government worker's stupid mistake. The TV having technical difficulties, and well, a dumb phone call. And well, because my sleep sucked, and I was tired, everything seems worse when you're not feeling your sunniest.

And while all the world felt small around me, when Alexis woke up from her nap, and I walked into her room, and she smiled, all the tears I had just shed, seemed like just a big waste of time. She really cures me from all the pain I have ever felt. God, I love her!!


Oh the things we do to our children!!

I don't know what my problem is lately. I haven't taken any pictures of Alexis in a few days. It makes me sad that I've missed out on a few days of her life. I wish I had taken a picture of her when she woke up from her nap today! Her hair was WILD! To be honest, I never realized how long her hair was till now! Her hair was sticking right up in front, and on the sides it was sticking out with curls! It was just fantastic!
And the poor girl has been missing out on all the fun I promised her before I went back to work. Sometimes real life gets in the way of playtime. But there is always time for snuggles and lovins no matter what! At least she didn't miss out on that!

Tomorrow is another day though, and we shall see what it brings us. Hopefully some fun! I'm in need of it, and she deserves it!

Sorry for the crappy post today boys and girls...but like I said...it was one of those days...bleh.

xoxo

One of my Favorite pictures of Alexis, EVER!! It always makes me smile! =)

We Live in a Toy Box!

Today was definitely not as fun filled as I planned. I forgot about the little fact that my house doesn't clean itself. I don't have fairies that come in and clean when we are sleeping. How unfortunate. I suppose in another life...I wish.

Today I realized I have very little time left before entering the work world, which meant that someone new would be entering my home to spend her days with my little love. And well...I don't think she would like to be here and step around an insane amount of random toys everywhere or look at the crumbs on my counter or find all the clean dishes in the dishwasher. So, I did an insane clean up.
Usually when Alexis has her afternoon nap, I like to sit for a while. Take a time-out. Watch a little crap on day time tv. Lounge. But today, I took advantage of my little sleepy head, and cleaned the crap out of the kitchen. Cleaned the tv room, tidied up all the toys.

Oh toys. The amount of toys that I picked up today. Old toys. New toys. Toys that aren't even Alexis'. They were everywhere. The joys of Birthday parties. The amount of new toys she got...she has too many. I tried going through her toy box to see what I could get rid of, but she is still a baby and still plays with all those baby things. So, I said screw it. At Christmas, I will get rid of that crap!

I did however, go through the boys' toy box and got rid of everything broken. Seems like I do this quite often. They are rough with pretty much everything, and I am sure, more than half of their toys are broken. There were odd pieces of things just sitting in a mess at the bottom of their toy box. And what's the point?

Anyways...I can't believe how hard it is to clean up toys when your 1 year old is awake! Oh my Goodness! She followed me around her room as I cleaned and tidied and put things away, and she just wanted EVERYTHING that I put my hands on, and BOOM! Mess again in an instant! I found a good routine with it though. I'd go to put something away, she'd come over and we'd play together with it for a bit, and when she decided to go onto the next toy, I'd secretly clean it up behind her back, and we just did that till the room was...tidy...if you want to call it that. She has so much stuff, it just looks like a cluttered mess. It's just not good. But we'll figure it all out.

Yesterday, Alexis and I went to our friend Steph's daughter, Zaphyn's 2nd Birthday Party! I can't believe the difference between a one year old and a two year old. And it only made me realize how much Alexis is going to change in the next year.


Alexis and Zaphyn


Happy Birthday!



And of course, my little love, getting a bounce on the trampoline too!


And, I will leave you tonight, with a cute picture!

Cheerios anyone?!

Goodnite!!

Soon to be a Working Mom...

3 more short days. It's all I have left with my baby girl before things change. Before I am forced to go back into the working world. I wish I had the choice to be a stay-at-home Mommy. To never miss a second without her. To never miss anything new she's going do. I envy all Mommy's who have a choice and are able to stay at home with their kidlets for as long as they like.
I am worried that I am going to miss her first steps. Ya know, the one's without her walker. I am worried I am going to miss her say her first words, although she has said puppy and bunny and ducka (for ducky), but you know what I mean. I am going to miss all her laughs and all her smiles and all her tears, and all the minutes I am away from her, I am going to be wishing I was with her.



I'm the kind of Mommy that hates missing even one little smile. Sometimes when we go for walks and she starts laughing at some random thing, I have to stop walking, go in front of the stroller and look at her, just to see her amazing little toothless grin! Maybe I am just crazy. I just don't like to miss a thing.

For some stupid reason, thinking about going back to work, makes me feel like I am leaving forever and never coming back. 3 or 4 days a week at work, 8 hours a day, and coming home to the time of day, Alexis is at her crankiest. I feel like I wont be the Mommy that she knows now. She knows her Mommy is there every second with her. And now that I am going to be gone, and leaving her....just breaks my heart, and I'm sure in way, it'll break hers. But I'm sure, with time, that she will get used to it. I just don't think I will.

Me and her...we've been best buddies from the start!

(4 days old)

when she cried, I cried...isn't that what best buddies do?

(1 months old)

and we will always love love love kisses!!

(11 months old)

Anyways...So, I'm thinking the next few days, our last few days of freedom, is going to be fun filled! I'm thinking the park, because she LOVES swinging on the swings! Going to 2nd hand stores and rummaging through all the clothes that we can get for cheap! Probably go swimming in her new awesome pool! Spending some time with friends..Maybe Maryanne and her girls, and maybe Alisha. I know, our fun kind of seems lame. But it's what we do, and we love it! And of course, we wont forget to snuggle and kiss and love, but that's an every day event no matter what! Because loving and snuggling is the best!!

Baby Girl Turned One......

I can't believe my baby girl is a year old already! What a fast year it was! A good year though. A year that changed me. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that I am a Mommy, but I think it's what I was born to be. Up until I had a baby, I found myself wondering what my purpose in life was. And when I looked into her eyes, I knew. If I wasn't good at anything else in life, my purpose in life, was to be a great Mommy! And that, is the best feeling in the world. I couldn't care less that I would never be a doctor or be a lawyer or ever have a real career or even a job that paid me a whole crap load of money. I just cared that I would be the best Mom I knew how. And to me, and to my daughter, that's all that matters!



So, her first birthday was one of those days you wish you could do over. I wish I didn't have her birthday party on her birthday, because I feel like I didn't spend any real time with her. I didn't squeeze her brand new one year old body and kiss her all over like I should have. I spent the day, stressed out, getting ready for a party, being followed around by my boyfriends 2 kids, trying desperately to hold it all together without having a breakdown.
But in the end, everything got done on time and the party was great! Friends and family came to celebrate with us! Alexis was surrounded by all the people in her life that love her, and for that, I couldn't ask for anything more!


Alexis and her Grandparents (my mom and dad)


Present time, was one of those things you have no idea how to go about with a one year old. I wasn't sure if I was to just keep opening presents when she crawled away or not..Or really what to do. But it all worked out.



Halfway through presents, she got cranky. She had had enough of doing the same thing, was getting tired, and probably just started to get overwhelmed with everyone in the room. But we took a minute to get some snuggles in, before starting again!


Cake was another experience that crashed and burned. I was really hoping for the whole cake smeared all over her face and in her hair and just having a real mess. But, she didn't want her cake. She barely even wanted to touch it.


She got lots of presents! So many in fact, that I have no idea what to do with everything that she has now! My house is a toy box...lol

Bedroom swaps!

Before Alexis had her own room, separate from mine, she went from her bassinet to her pack and play. Her first three months, she slept in the bassinet and then from 3-6 months in the pack and play. She never had a crib until she was 6 months old, otherwise I am sure she would have slept in her own room before she hit 6 months.




Alexis has 2 big brothers. Not my babies of course. They are sons of her Daddy. They come to stay with us when Daddy is home off the road, every other week. They just love Alexis and she loves them!



(picture when Alexis was 9 months old)

She has to share her room with the boys. It sucks that she always has *half* of her room.

She went from this:

and this:


And recently I was able to change that! It took a lot of hard work and a lot of my Dad coming over to help me out with the big things. But it was SO worth every second of a whole week of work!
And now has this!:

and this:

and this:


I am super happy that I was able to give her my room, so that she can play with all her toys and read all her book and watch movies (although she barely watches them) and sleep, all in the same room! Now, there are no more toys scattered around my house and her play room isn't in my kitchen!
I am sure that one day she will appreciate that I gave up my room so she can have the biggest room, but for now, just knowing that she loves me just for being me, is better than anything else in the world!!